Find out what your blog is rated. They list the words that give you the rating and apparently using "cannibal" 7 times -- now 8 -- is a factor.
Back from vacation, most of my hits while I was away were from abuncha people googling Brianna Frost...especially if they used other words in the search. For example, "Brianna Frost panty ripping video", so I guess I'll just give the people what they want...
Brianna Frost Panty Ripping Video.
My work here is done.
WARNING: That's not just a truck!!
Batgirl May Be In Danger is the best YTMND in awhile.
250k toilet will stop the rest stop gays? [fark]
Hey Amy! Still No No No on rehab?
Need to add a day to the schedule when they plan the Olympic torch run: At 147 km (91 mi), Greater Sochi is the longest city in Europe or the world. Every 4 years, the Winter Olympics are also the longest two weeks ever. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
The intro to this Keeley site is nice.
4th of July added to Nick's seasonal emporiums!!
The big GO will be on vacation for a week. I'm sure you'll survive without me. For all you guys that drop in searching Google for Brianna Frost: you've seen her face, right??? And someone still needs to submit the Brianna Frost/Dramatic Chipmunk Challenge.
Let's drink American beer (Sam Adams, if I have to) and then burn our eyes out, catch our hair on fire, and blow our fucking hands off. Anything less would be un-American.
CORN ON THE FORTH OF JULY?
PORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY!! (NSFW)
CORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY?? (NSFAnything)
PORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY?! (NSFW)
BJORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY!
MORN' ON THE FOURTH OF JULY :/
HORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY$$
WORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY???
TORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY+
and finally
BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY...
The story of the week gets better. Here's what we knew so far:
Story Highlights:
A man beat up a peacock that had wandered into a Burger King parking lot
The peacock was beaten so badly it had to be euthanized
Witnesses said the man claimed to be killing a "vampire"
Police say they've collared the man they believe administered a fatal beating to a peacock because he thought it was a vampire. The same man is now being questioned for threatening to "destroy cannibal peacocks" at the Brooklyn Zoo.
John N. Potts, 32, was arrested for for terroristic threatening, theft, and disorderly conduct. Police say Potts stole some fireworks from a roadside stand and made threats to "cannibal peacocks" at the zoo. Witnesses say he yelled at anyone within 20 feet of him and made comments about "blowing up all the cannibal peacocks." Authorities believe he is homeless and mentally unstable and are working to place him into a state hospital.
And now for something completely different, highbrow post comin' atcha!*
Out of all the books and various literatures they made me read in school, the short stories were maybe the best part. For every horrible Beowolf assignment, there was a cool short story that wasn't so bad. Some were even good, really good. Here are my Top 5 favorite short stories they made me read in high school:
#5 "A Rose For Emily" - William Faulkner
Faulkner novels mostly mess my head up, so this accessible work was right up my alley, and it's got a gruesome ending as a bonus!
#4 "Cathedral" - Raymond Carver
Carver is pretty badass and it was really cool I got to read something modern AND classic in high school. "Cathedral" is maybe his best short story. Check out the short story anthology of the same name. The film Short Cuts was based on his short stories and is pretty memorable if for only Julianne Moore giving a long, impassioned monologue nude from the waist down.
#3 "The Lottery" - Shirley Jackson
We read and watched the short film of this in class and I thought it was pretty wicked, but didn't everyone?
#2 "The Most Dangerous Game" - Richard Connell
I think we read this freshman year and I found it really imaginative and enjoyable. You've read it before, but if not, you've seen the premise in half a dozen movies: Hunter hunts man.
#1 "A&P" - John Updike
John Updike is pretty much one of my favorite writers and it was this short story that made me buy this short story collection (highly rec'd for "Pigeon Feathers" alone). This story floored me in high school. I thought it was the coolest thing I've ever read. It still ranks as my all-time favorite short story. Not because of "revolutionary style and technique" or "beautiful, vivid prose" or "layers or complex narratives" and whatever else literary critics go apeshit for, it's none of those things. It's just really well-written and really awesome.
Honorable Mentions: "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty", because I'm like Mitty to the max, "The Yellow Wall-paper", because I'm batshit insane, "The Cask of Amontillado" because Poe is creepy and someone gets buried alive, and "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow", even though the story confuses my dumb head so much I can hardly understand there's a headless horseman involved. So, the inclusion here is only because I kinda like the spooky scenes with goth-hot Lisa Marie (who in turn isn't as hot as this Lisa Marie) in Tim Burton's Sleepy Hollow, which we never would have seen if Washington Irving didn't write the story.
* as highbrow as this site could ever get.
Things are bad at work. There is a sudden uncomfortable work environment between a co-worker and me and it's all my fault. The co-worker (she will remain maneless) is a new-ish lady who sits behind me and she's around 35 or so. I don't talk to her much, but things have been cool. Well, her daughter comes in on Tuesday to give her mom something and this girl is so fucking hot, I can't believe it. So my co-worker is showing her daughter around and pointing at the pictures on her desk and all that shit. She finally introduces me and they are talking about school and stuff and I'm thinking it's summer, why is she going to school...
So, my co-worker is trying to get her friend on the phone but she's not picking up her extension. So, she leaves and her daughter sits in her chair and swivels around. She's looking at the computer, but maybe afraid to use it because of the spreadsheet on the screen. So, I'm kinda looking over at her as she swivels back and forth and I'm loving how her tight top is about three inches above her low-rise jeans. I'm amazed how low her jeans are but I don't see any panties.
I ask her "Did you say something about going to class? Isn't school over?"
She says "Yeah, it's a summer college prep course. If I do it now, I don't have to do it when I'm a freshman."
"Did you just graduate? Or..."
"No, I'm a senior now."
"Ahh...senior year's fun."
"Yeah, I'm a teacher's aid one period, should be an easy year."
And then, after a few beats, I say, inexplicably:
"I bet you're pretty popular."
I felt nervous when I said it, thinking it's pretty fucking obvious what you mean by that. I might have well as said "Damn, you're hot."
She shrugs and says "I don't know, not a big thing." And swivels back around, away from me. I say something about my ten year reunion will be coming up in a few years and then her mom returns and tells her daughter to come on, "Let's go see Peggy." So they say goodbye and leave.
The next morning, I hear through the grapevine that my co-worker thinks I'm trying to make it with her daughter or something and she can't even bring her to work without people being disgusting. Turns out I'm not the only one who implied she was hot. But what is the problem? And why did she have to tell her mom what I said? I probably shouldn't have said it, but girls like that will do that to you. I could have said worse, believe me.
So my co-worker shot me a glare the morning after and has been brusque whenever we've had to exchange project info. Whatever. Now I really want to get on her daughter, not just because she's hot, but because I'd be getting on her daughter. In a perfect world, this would happen. I know the world is not perfect because one time I went to an Applebee's and one of the "neighborhood" decorations fell off the wall and hit my left shoulder, bruising it.
Father Makes 5-year-old Daughter Watch Creepy Video Before Bed
CLEVELAND - A Cuyahoga Falls resident is being questioned by a child protection agency after he allegedly made his 5-year-old daughter view a creepy music video before sending her to bed. Dan Parks allegedly instructed his daughter to watch the music video "What's A Girl To Do" by music artist Bat For Lashes. The video features the singer riding a bicycle on a dark, wooded road when people dressed as animals suddenly appear behind her on bicycles. The video features scenes of creepy figures with balloons, and an automobile accident. Cleveland's A Child's Voice agency says they became aware of the incident from an anonymous source and are investigating the matter with city Child Protection Service officials. An official, speaking on condition of anonymity, says the child "is distressed and has been unable to sleep." Dan Parks would not comment on the incident. The girl's mother is currently on a business trip.
So, this Brianna Frost camgirl has a hot body. Her vids are EVERYWHERE and she's maybe the biggest camgirl cocktease currently on the internet. Her signature seems to be to film herself in the corner of a room, between two doors. Well, for some reason, I want the doors to open. That's not a euphemism.
QUESTION.
Can someone make an animated gif or a video of the little door opening and the dramatic chipmunk or something like that inside? That would be cool. Thanks.
I fell asleep for awhile and days went by without a "keeley hazell" google spree. Luckily, fubar is there! But the clothed pics are kinda hotter than the nude ones. Is Keeley slipping or does the Aud
Edit: Sentence was not completed due to fap session. Strike the question.
MAYBE I am still excited that fubar came through AGAIN with an overdue post on Renee Olstead? But the post comes AFTER she's 18? What is the fubar world coming to? She's been TV's #1 pedophile playground for 3-4 years, besting Alia Shawkat by a nice set of monkey bars and a jungle gym.
Renee Olstead falls short of pre-legal Lohan though. But these days, most small woodland creatures are sexier than Lohan. Musically, it's a draw: Renee sings jazz covers but somehow makes them boring while Lohan's musical career faded as quick as her beauty, despite the hit single "Rumors" was written by Tito Jackson and reached #1 on the Mexican Top 100.
I once sold Young As They Cum #3 on ebay for 8 dollars + shipping. Goddamn that was an intense bidding war, I tell you what.
THE WORLD AWAITS HER RETURN?
Bill is killed, so who will be killed in Kill Bill 3 and 4?
Speaking of five-point palm exploding heart techniques, the Exploding Hearts are also killed, but they were an awesome band.
FAN VIDEO SNIPPET of Rec'd track "Throwaway Style":
Exploding Hearts - Modern Kicks (mp3) [veryyoungmillionaire]
Just going off recent pictures, it's good we'll be seeing Christina Aguilera on the big screen.
Nevermind that first look of INDY 4. Where's the clamor for the WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE first look?
The nation collectively dodges a huge bullet.
In Louisville, KY, the sole city newspaper has deemed the lol cats phenomenon to be current, relevant news.
I cans do research.
Ezra Singleton, 7, a student at Okolona Elementary School, browsed through lolcats on icanhascheezburger.com and also broke into laughter. He plans to check the site regularly, he said, especially "when I have the blues."
Similar to the alleged children I have fathered, I have often created things and then abandoned the creation. I did that a week ago with this blog, but I guess I'm back now. I used to have 3 or 4 regular readers random visitors, but now I seem to have OVER THREE TIMES THAT AMOUNT due to some links from high profile websites. So, maybe I won't give this one up so quickly, like I did Austin, or whatever the fuck that bitch named him.
So, to the 9 of you, regular outlandishness will resume in a day or two.
This is a special news bulletin for all women in Colorado, especially if you are a hot woman in Colorado. Local men are going to steal your panties. There is not much you can do about it. Buy a lock for your top drawer. Hire a bodyguard to sit in the laudry room and watch your delicates tumble dry while you're fucking that boy in your dorm. Do what you can, but will you be able to do enough???
That's three serial panty-robbers in recent memory. And one guy stole, like, 1,300 underwears. There must be something in that dry rocky mountain air. Beware.
Sorta kinda semi-related: I really like this blog.
No, she's not from Colorado.
Yes, I want to steal her panties. And her camera. And her soul.
This was probably my favorite book as a kid. While the interesting and crazy illustrations of Richard Scarry would delight me, it was the darkness and detail captured in these Maurice Sendak illustrations that really sparked my imagination. The story resonated with me as well, because I too had threatened to eat my mom for dinner and I had a strong desire to rule over her, especially if I could wear a costume as cool as the one worn by lead character Max.
So, with a doubt, I'm really excited that Spike Jonze is making this into a feature film from a script written by one of my favorite writers ever, Dave Eggers.
Adult fantasy, however, currently wins over childhood fantasy. So, while they are making one of my childhood fantasies come alive with Where The Wild Things Are, someone needs to do something about my fantasy to see Wild Things 4, starring the hottest, softcore porn girls on the net. It's time to bring some serious hotness back to the theaters and not straight-to-video. Seriously, this would make, like, 200 million dollars at the box office on it's first day. Then, word-of-mouth and repeaters would quickly push it toward 1 billion dollars.
The script would probably just be a rehash of the first film with a little Poison Ivy mixed in, but it would have a lot more opportunities to see some softcore action, from the internet's hottest web sluts. The goal is to become the first movie to have all of it's principal players naked for over 50% of the film with the other half mostly them being in underwear or in the process of taking off sexy clothes to get to the underwear, with some hot slo-mo body shots, upskirt shots, bikini shots, and some murders thrown in. That's the goal, anyway.
So, which softcore websluts would star in this movie? Well, Tawnee Stone wants to be an actress and has been playing "the 19-year-old web sensation from Texas" for almost 10 years. Of course, her alleged sister Tori Stone would have to make a hot cameo as well. For shock value, there would have to be Topanga, who looks and pretends to be 15. She could play the freshman that has sex with an older dude and then gets killed. There's got to be a hot blonde, so I think Tiffany could heat up a few scenes. Maybe Allie could play Tiffany's hot mom. Of course, there has to be a girl who looks a little evil, so why not Raven Riley.
And Kate could play the retarded girl who has a hoof.
According to Askmen.com, the top 5 Father's Day gifts are:
5. Wine
4. Grooming kit
3. Facial Care
2. Sports events tix
1. Watch
Well, the first three are retarded and the last two are old hat. If you are looking for other ideas this year, you've come to the right place. Difficulty to find the gift and the expected price are shown below on a 5-star scale, with 1 being easy or inexpensive and 5 being difficult to obtain or expensive.
Here are the Top 5 alternative gifts to get dad this year...
#5 A Nasty Old Slut on the Side
Difficulty: **
Price: ****
You know that nasty, 40-something slut your friend got busted having sex with? You know, the coked-up whore that just needs 10 dollars to suck you off so she can fuel her multiple drug addictions? What dad needs is a quick release from his wife from a woman who is still willing to suck him off. And at $10 per blowjob with a weekly visit, you're only talking $520 for the year. The Nasty Old Slut, unlike the hot prostitute, is the gift that keeps on giving all year long. Helpful hint: Just try and find one that doesn't come around every day, banging on your doors and windows. 
#4 A Prescription Drug Gift Basket
Difficulty: ****
Price: *****
A pricey and hard to find gift for the dad who has everything... except for a drug or sex addiction. Nicely packaged in a ziploc bag and placed in a tavern beer bucket will be the best damn Father's Day gift basket dad has ever seen: A variety of prescription drugs. Sometimes dad just needs a good pick-up pill to make things right again. The assortment should include OxyContin, Rohypnol, Percocet, Viagra and a variety of ECPs. If your dad has allergies or heartburn, you could include pills for those ailments as well, but those are harder to find on the streets. Dad won't soon forget your generous gift... that is, until he runs out of pills and starts to hit you up for his quick fix.
#3 The Smokin' Hot, Professional Prostitute
Difficulty: ***
Price: ***
This is one whore dad will remember for the rest of his life. The smokin' hot, professional prostitute will cost you a pretty penny for only one hour of fun, but she will be very hot and is probably up-to-date on her STD testing. Depending on your dad's number and level of fetishes, expect to pay at least $200 for just one hour of company, with sex, blowjob, cumshot, ass-play, foot fetish, etc. at an extra cost. With the professional prostitute, you can get each sex act a la carte and you'll know the total price and sign a pimp-approved contract before she even sits on a that nasty motel bed.
#2 Kidnap Your Mom for a Week
Difficulty: ****
Price: *
A great gift for pop would be a week's vacation away from the old ball and chain. How can he do all the stuff he wants to do with her around? So, this year, have your mask-wearing friends kidnap your mom and take her to that crazy place your friend of a friend's friend knows where she can be safely locked away for a week and nobody will hear her screams. You'll need to have a good buddy feed her a few times a day and when a week passes, your friends can go load her back into the trunk and drop her off at some gas station. Just play it smart and be sure that your mom never sees their faces and you should be okay. While she's locked up, your mom can eat that out-of-date sandwich bread you have on your kitchen counter, so the only cost of this gift will be the few rounds of beers you will have to buy your friends for their efforts.
#1 A Case of Beer with a Nice Post-It Note Stuck on it
Difficulty: *
Price: *
I got this for my dad a few years back, before we got in a pretty nasty fistfight, and I'm thinking about getting it again this year now that he has apologized. He said it was the best present he ever got and he still has the Post-It Note that says "Happy Father's Day" on it. This gift may not wow your dad as much as mine, but for somewhere around 15 dollars, this is the most economical (read: cheap) and convenient gift idea on this list. Helpful hint: If you buy a cold case, the Post-It Note might not want to stick, so just wipe off the condensation on the area you wish to apply the note and the Post-It it will work like the fucking magic that it is.
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!
New pics of Emily Scott, one of Australia's hottest girls. These are from the July 2007 German Maxim.
For the record: Not as hot as Keeley, who is hotter than sunshine.
#5 Professor Quirrell - Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone
WHY HE'S A MUMBLING, STUTTERING PRICK:
He's a fruity, evil professor with two faces, a dark side, and something to hide.
WHY WE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM:
We don't. We want him to die along with the whole Harry Potter phenomenon. This phenomenon also involves putting music to every fucking movie clip.
#4 Ken - A Fish Called Wanda
WHY HE'S A MUMBLING, STUTTERING PRICK:
He's a jewel thief who kills an old lady's dogs several times before finally killing her.
WHY WE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM:
He gets revenge on his nemesis, but not before Otto tortures him with food and then devours his aquarium fish.
#3 Bobby Boucher - The Waterboy
WHY HE'S A MUMBLING, STUTTERING PRICK:
He's a backwoods mama's boy and a complete dumbass with a water obsession.
WHY WE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM:
He's a backwoods mama's boy and a complete dumbass with a water obsession. Luckily, he harnesses his pent-up rage to succeed at football and scores a white trash girl.
#2 Billy Bibbit - One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest
WHY HE'S A MUMBLING, STUTTERING PRICK
When 30-year-old virgin Billy gets caught with a hooker named Candy in the psych ward, he gives up McMurphy's name when Nurse Ratched threatens to tell his mother what he did.
WHY WE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM:
He idolized McMurphy, who was doing his best to help Billy get out of his self-pity and be a better person. However, the stress of relationships between his mother, Nurse Ratched, and McMurphy, really fucks him up and he kills himself.
AND THE #1 MUMBLING, STUTTERING PRICK IN FILM HISTORY, AFTER THE JUMP JUNK IN THE TRUNK... [hollylinks]
#1 Spider - Goodfellas
WHY HE'S A MUMBLING, STUTTERING PRICK:
Because Tommy calls him one. Tommy clearly asks for a water and Spider ignores him. Then Spider tries to argue with him. Also, Spider's whole family may be rats.
WHY WE FEEL SORRY FOR HIM:
He stands up to Tommy and earns the respect of the goodfellas, but pays dearly for his actions.
Speaking of stuttering and SOBs... [gorillamask]
Porky pig
